I never want to be like my mother

Most people have uttered those words about their mother in their lifetime; whether under their breath, behind her back or even a brave few have said it to her face. Our fearless mothers are the mavens of discipline, the custodians of manners and the matriarchs of our family values. For most, there have been many disagreements with mom and we professed we never wanted to be like her when we grew up. Afterall, what does she know and how could she possibly understand us?

My mother is the youngest of four girls from a well respected family. The apple of her father’s eye; a wealthy descendant of ship chandlers, she longed for nothing in her life. In her generation my mother was privileged to attend teachers college, complements of her mother; a beloved educator. Despite these luxuries, my mother’s sole aspiration in life was to marry the man of her dreams and raise a family. Five daughters later, my mother epitomized marital and domestic bliss with the picture-perfect home that would make even June Cleaver and Martha Stewart green with envy.

With complete devotion and pride, my mother hand-sewed five perfectly coordinated sets of gingham bedspreads and pillow shams for her daughters; I still have my lime green set. She would tenderly braid the hair of her five girls and tie coordinating ribbons at the ends to match our dresses. As my sisters and I cultivated our own lives, we would swiftly call mom to ask for a recipe, seek her advice or approval of life’s moments. My mom was at the birth of each grandchild; never missed a birthday; was an ear to bend during an argument with our husband; and was the shoulder to cry on during despair.

I spoke with my mom today and she struggled to talk. My mother commences the conversation by asking who I am; she does not remember any of her five daughters let alone her own name. My mom has lived with Alzheimer’s for over six years and it has hastily deteriorated a strong, intelligent mother, wife, sister, daughter, grandmother and friend. She cannot make a piece of toast, brush her teeth or even put on her socks. My mom cannot complete a sentence and makes random ramblings no one can interpret. My mom has been examined by medical specialists throughout Canada, been prescribed experimental medicines and has participated in all available treatments; - each time with a new hope that quickly fades.

Although mom is alive in body, her mind and spirit died when Alzheimer’s took hold. For the family, we have no choice but to endure an agonizing torment minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day as we watch her quality of life deteriorate. Despite our consummate wealth to afford our mother anything she needs we are powerless over this disease. We can never free her of this evil.

I never want to be like my mother.

queer on film in Vancouver

I have lived on the West Coast for most of my adult life however this is the first time I have heard of the Vancouver Queer Film Festival. A celebration of diversity and talent, the festival is in its 22nd year and runs for eleven days . Click here to read my latest article.

Has video truly killed the radio star?!

Recently I attempted to purchase an item that was advertised in the weekly flyer of a large upscale department store. It did not go as planned and left me wondering if there is any customer service left in the world.

With flyer in hand, I eagerly arrived at the department store. In fact, I was having an absolutely fabulous day. It was a leisurely Saturday with coffee close by as my darling kitty's fur gleamed in the morning sun and I tweeted on Twitter. I decided nothing would quite complete the day until I had secured the advertised fragrance I had been waiting to acquire.

When I entered the store, it seemed like they were waiting for me. Everything I liked was on sale! I made a few purchases before making my way to the fragrance counter. The cosmetics and fragrance department was my crème de la crème. I am not quite sure I find as much pleasure exploring, sampling and pampering my soul, mind and spirit. That is until I met her. The Dreaded Cosmetic Rogue. You know the type; - this-is-just-another-random-job-to-pay-the-bills-type. I-loathe-everyday-I-awake-and-have-to-come-into-this-place; let-alone-serve-customers. In addition, her clothes were dated, her hair lacked grooming and she did not engage in a single bit of makeup; - a true oddity this woman was supposed to be an ambassador for the company and a representation of the cosmetics guru so many of us rely on for cosmetic and fragrance advice.

I approached the counter to request the said item. Ms. Rogue informed me they didn’t have any in stock. I asked her if she thought they might receive any more. Ms. Rogue said no. She then proceeded to tell me it was a bit of “lure and bait” tactic and any time there was an advertised special, they rarely received any more than 1-2 of the advertised item. Ms. Rogue did try to sell me a different item for an additional $150 however I declined. I left the store a little more than deflated. In this one despicable moment, all my special times were starting to unravel. This store was the place of special memories, of happy times, of sweet indulgences. I was hoping it was all a bad dream.

I decided the best fix was a little retail therapy and proceeded to the competitor’s store. After fulfilling my sensational retail therapy, I returned home to provide an email to the customer service department of Ms. Rogue’s store.

Within a few days, I was contacted via email regarding my complaint. Unfortunately for me the customer service recipient of the email was completely oblivious and disengaged in the genuine nature of my initial complaint. What followed was an incredibly tedious process and it was not until almost a week later that the district manager and store manager contacted me to apologize and make the situation better. They both agreed the store encounter and follow-up process should never have happened in the nature in which it did. They assured me they would optimize the situations for future coaching and development with their teams.

All in all, I am left with some sense of resolution. However the situation has left me with an overwhelming sense that humanity is starting to lose its grip with reality. My problems were simple and easily avoidable. The people I encountered were not incapable of resolving the situations. My unfortunate experience is remarkably common and I encounter similar shortcomings of customer service regularly. I wonder if society conditioned us to accept the service these people were dishing out? Are we allowing ourselves to become immune to commanding and accepting genuine customer service?

The Internet has revolutionized how we interact in all aspects of our life and many people shop online. In light of this, there are a growing number of businesses closing up shop and many consumers resort to the Internet to fulfill retail therapy.

Based on my recent disengagements in customer service, I am inclined to avoid bricks and mortar shopping experiences all together and point, click and shop with my mouse, eliminating the unfortunate interactions completely. By adopting this approach and attitude, I am  endorsing un-customer service.

Video has killed the radio star...I'll be shopping online for cosmetics this coming Saturday.

Seen and be seen...

Sometimes there are places we encounter and just know it is one of those places you want to be seen having frequented. J Lounge in Davie Village is one of those places.

Click here to see get a taste of J Lounge in Vancouver.

Proud for Pride

We are blessed to live in the most culturely diverse and rich country; - Canada.

Pride Vancouver gets ready to celebrate its 37th festival and here is a look at some of the festivities planned!

Click here to link to my latest article.

Enjoy.

Rose Coloured Glasses

Recently I had the pleasure of staying at Vancouver's newest and sexiest hotel. It was an amazing stay which brought back fond memories of when I moved to Vancouver in pursuit of a great hotel career. Well, it is almost 20 years later and this weekend also brought me back to reality and reminded me how much I take for granted in my privileged of careers.

As a hotel executive, I have access to several travel benefits for which I rarely take the time to enjoy. I stress TAKE TIME to enjoy. I usually am busily and happily taking care of the guests who stay at our hotels with optimal pleasure.

My view of a great hotel is acutely different than those who usually stay in our hotels. As someone who works in hotels, we are often referred to as "hotel snobs".  Extremely high standards, we look for faults and know exactly how things should act out in the hotel.

My stay was pretty routine however it is the things I observed which made me realize who very different things looks through my "glasses".

It didn't phase me to see a sequin-clad "lady" in the cafe at 10am; - afterall they have to make a living. A hotel is a public place and unless someone is obsenely out of place or of illicit behaviour, we think nothing of it.

I never thought twice about ordering a Lemon Drop martini in the Lobby Bar which was not on the menu. Afterall, we're breed to believe the customer always comes first, whatever they ask for, we deliver (within reason...)

I played with my espresso machine making three decaf espressos complete with cup and saucer, times three.

I lounged in my suite's enormous soaker tub while browsing Nuvo magazine watching my adjacent in-mirror TV directly proceeded by a 35 minute rain shower, using all the towels, slippers and bathrobe.

I sat amidst the clouds on the 21st floor exclusive lounge patio admiring the North Shore mountains sipping wine and eating canapes. I busily looked for faults but couldn't find any!

And before I checked out, I took the time to neatly group the dirty towels, throw the sheets up, collect all the clutter and neatly leave the room. Never in a million years would a "hotel snob" leave their room in disarray. In twenty years, I've always "cleaned" my own room.

Call it crazy, but many of us tidy our room before leaving. I think it is the intimate compassion and appreciation we have for the work the housekeepers and everyone in the hotel performs. They work hard to please the guests who keep coming back and ultimately keep the circle of business flowing.

Afterall most of us did their job once. I guess you could say we wear rose coloured glasses.

Californian's will not be kept asunder

California same sex union debate to be captured on film for the world to see. C'mon Californias, you are the gayest state in America, it is time to allow justice.

Click here to read more.

Athletes to shine with pride

There are many things to be thankful of living in Canada. Celebrations and opportunties for our LGBT community like these contine to reinforce these feelings.

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lesbian custody battle with missing child

Former Lesbian denounces homosexuality but flees with child, keeping her away from current lesbian and other parent.

People, grow up and keep your children out of your problem. Both partners deserve to see the child, regardless of their beliefs and lifestyle. As long as no one is getting hurt and the child is well cared for, who cares?!

Read more here

Legal in New Hampshire

Couples basked in matrimony on January 1, 2010 in same-sex unions. Click here to see article.